Some families may feel skeptical about doula at first and doubt her role. One of the worries that partners may have is that they will be ‘replaced’ during birth though this is very much untrue. No one can replace such a vital role that a partner has for the laboring woman: the intimacy, the connection, love for her & the baby… This is where the oxytocin bubble starts: by being surrounded with trust and love.
Doula is there to bring reassurance and support for both parents. Her experience and knowledge of what’s normal in labor or how to help a beloved woman can be especially comforting to partners: a doula may serve like a lighthouse during a rough storm of the unknown.
There is a metaphor that I love in the book by Klaus, Kennel & Klaus:
“Asking the fathers to be the main support, our society may have created a very difficult expectation for them to meet. This is like asking fathers to play in a professional football game after several lectures but without any training or practice games.”